My Alien Nation

Don't you just love it when you have a moment of clarity and you look around and realize you are living in a freaky alien nation?  ME TOO!  Come on now, a 100 lb tortoise was in my yard last night, just sitting there eating my orange gerber daisies and earlier I was at work today and walked into the conference room with my co-workers and found a list of future items to be completed with only my name written next to every listed item (no one else's name, just MINE).  My 12 co-workers stood paralyzed and then in an alien mob mentality veered my way as if I had intentionally used my ESP senses to corrupt the man we report to and manipulate his hand to write on the whiteboard.  Little did they know my stomach turned upside down seeing the long list as I FREAKED out.  If my alien mob co-workers really think I have this ESP thing down maybe I should try creating additional time in a day.  That would really freak people out but it would be O so FUN!
Back to the tortoise, the thing was HUGE and it looked at me with it's little eye and the only thing I could imagine was that he was on the run from this dreary city.  He was on the lamb, gearing up for the long haul and I was the only thing stopping him.  Little did he know I was contemplating ridding on his back and looking forward to the extremely light breeze he would produce.
Snap back to reality Jill, you have a 100 lb ancient entity sitting in front of you and it needs to go back to where it came from.  Luckily the audience of neighbors went on a hunt for the mysterious owners and reconvened with a suped up black truck that required two men to lift the tortoise into the back of the bed.  I swear that ancient monster winked at me as he was lifted high and dry and used his ESP senses to tell me to meet him out front next week on Tuesday so we can feel the slight breeze in our face and slowly move forward and out of the city while I sit on his back with my good book while begging the sun Gods for a coffee shade of tan.

I love Alien Nation Days, makes me realize I'm taking life a little too seriously.

My Inner Maester and a Drive-in Surprise

Who knew that change can come on a whim if you let it take shape. I'd like to think I was high jacked across state lines last month for my own benefit, to rid my buttoned up personality and shed the jaded cynicism I like to harbor. Thank you Amie and Jackie for making me strip back down to the old me. It's been a little refreshing even though I on occasion want to bundle back up and blow the bubble shield back up around me while stuffing my face full of food and having multiple anxiety attacks while watching Diners, Drive-ins and Dives (thank goodness the last attack was in Vegas).


Liberation across state lines is what I say! You just need friends, a couple of shots and a night out a the House of Blues (80's rock rules) so you know just how old you really are.



I have done more, laughed more, been more content and full of smiles just because I said "screw it" since we took a drive into that dusty and dirty sin city. I've shed 12 lbs (20 more to go) and I have left the house 4 weekends in a row (and I did FUN stuff) and saw people I love and care about. Sure there has been a Surprise and I have a little soul searching to do but I want more, more, more. For those of you that know me, can you believe that I spontaneously booked a little vacation (can't wait to go), went to an Angels game, the Drive-in, walk-in movies, water park, read 3 books (that were not assigned) and went on a strict diet all in 4 weeks? Who am I? I like the new rebel without a clause....... oops, I mean cause. Come on now, the green jaded wings I wear seem to slowly be turning a simple shade of "me saying yes to magenta and yellow steamed veggies". WTH? I'm like Frankenstein re-born without the bolts. Rebuilt from the inside out!


Funny how life works out, people or events happen in our lives and we never really know the true reasons for their existence. What propels us forward, if it good or bad can only makes us stronger. Having the cahones to be the true you is what it's really about. I locked up the true me a long time ago because judgement was always passed in my direction and I drank it up like a gambling granny with a fist full of quarters. So here I am screaming from the top of my lungs..........................I like playing loud music with an air guitar, if you don't like that my shirts too tight then DON'T LOOK, I like SMART people that are unpredictable (they are more interesting), having a code language with your best friends is COOL, Yes I will judge you by what shoes you are wearing (I'm flawed too), I get jealous, I don't like cartoons (even when I was a kid), I crave being silly and making others laugh and yes I hate the city I live in and weep knowing I am stuck here. So, in my rebellion (early mid-life crisis) I say, if you don't like it or me because of who I am it is your problem and not mine! Words I have been waiting to say for 30 years. If you judge me it will now fall on deaf ears, I've turned down my hearing-aid. Learn to live because I am. BTW...... I'm reading the first book in the series A Song of Ice and Fire, A Game of Thrones. If anyone is out there and actually took 3 minutes to read my ridiculous self absorbed rant and you've read this book and are obsessed with it as me, please talk to me about it!!!! Reading this book has made be embrace my inner nerd and it is AWESOME.


Peace out fellow maesters (are an order of scholars, healers and scientists who are trained at a school called the Citadel) Google it!

The Letter D - Because I'm MAD!

My teacher gave me a D on a paper today. A flipping D! I've mastered straight A's for 5 classes now and I just got my first anything below an A. Her excuse was that I did not follow direction. So I went back and read her instructions and I would like to say they were VAGUE! You cannot reinterpret your direction after papers are posted. I want to put up one stinking fight here but I truly believe that if I fight back, every time she grades anything of mine she will have a predisposition of who I am and all grades will be skewed.

You should have read her remarks.............she was NASTY. You would think teachers would provide constructive criticism. I toiled with quiting school today and I have to tell you I'm inches away from throwing the books down the drain. I have yet figured out why I'm putting myself and family through so much turmoil.

Now I'm so pissed off that I am going to stick with this course. If I fail it, I will fail it going down in a blaze of glory.

I'm just not the book learin' type. Go figure, I watch people around me with Masters and I think to myself, "you're dumb, how did you get that degree?" What does that say about me if I can't do nearly what they have?

Nothing like school, Leadership Academy, work, home and self pressure to make you feel like your not worth much. If everyone expects 100%, I'm going to have to rob school to pay work the percentage it requires. I just don't have enough percentage to go around so something has to suffer and right now it is my happiness. The earthquake and tsunami in Japan made me wonder, how many of those people that lost their lives were actually happy on their last day? It's time to start living life to it's fullest. Can someone tell me what that is exactly?

2011 Integrity in the Sun

I want 2011 to be good, a new start of sorts, a new beginning in a pleasant attitude. Let it be just that. I want to honor those that I love, I want to be a better person and I want to grow leaps and bounds above my own indiscretions of the past.

It was good to sit today and watch my friend of many years son play soccer. The day was beautiful and I learned how complicated families can be. I think that I often take the act of family socialization for granted. I come from a very small family and my extended family is almost non-existent. I watched my friend today play a ever so delicate shell and ball game when it came to the people around her today. I was proud of her integrity and that she made choices that benefited herself and others. Pure selflessness at its finest. Lesson noted on my end. I need to be more considerate of those around me, no matter my social awkwardness.

Yes, today I am thankful for the pressing sunburn that seems to be getting worse by the moment because it reminds me that sitting in the sun among a good friend is worth it all.

Maybe Orange is the Color of the Season!

I wish I had a funny story to write about or something silly to share but on this cold and rainy Sunday morning I stare out a window watching the cloud's teardrops fall onto orange flowers. Each drop that falls is almost in sync with the pounding of my headache. A headache I am sure caused by the continual thinking of a red and white season. Give me one week and I will provide you with a happy person, a person not wound up and ready to unspin at anyone willing to pull at the string. My Scroogeness is being worn on both sleeves now. But, in the attempt to be 'merry', Stephanie and I mushed and mashed a bunch of ingredients yesterday and then I cut and baked spices into holiday shapes. Yes, gingerbread men, women and shapes were born right here in this quaint gray abode and then I smothered their little beings and created personalities, with ties, tennis shoes, snow hats and gloves. Lucky them, they get a new wardrobe before finding themselves entering into a cave of doom.

Today (when I muster up the energy) I will haul out the 'paper of festive', tape, scissors and enough will to wrap the few gifts I have been out to purchase. Once I have accomplished this task hopefully I will be able to pull myself into the car and fare the other soaking crabby wet people as we strong arm each other for those last minute gifts. There goes my head pounding again.......OUCH.

Maybe there is hope, I just looked out and saw a little hummingbird flying in the rain while sticking it's needle into the orange flowers. Perhaps perseverance is key. That is the lesson learned today..........................and a good headache med is calling.

A Beacon of Hope

That time of year is here folks, it is time to put on your Santa hats and roam the stores searching for that deal of a life time. It is the season to drink hot chocolate (COFFEE IN MY CASE), cozy up under a warm blanket, turn off the lights and let the Christmas tree shine as a beacon of hope.

Decorating

I gathered enough energy yesterday to pull down a few boxes of decorations and several hours later we only had the tree decorated (my little elf and the tree above). There are plastic bins all over the house begging to be emptied and their contents distributed into little vignettes. I am electing this year to simplify the Christmas Cheer in our house. I am tired of looking at the same old Christmas mouse with her little red Santa hat sweetly laid perfectly on her head. I want new, exciting (and less work) decorating to go on this year. So, I am going to skip the traditional topper on the Christmas tree and do something new. Pictures to follow if it turns out positive!!!

Baking

Last year I baked up a storm and I can't decide if I want to do the same this year (see right for last years sweets). I made a list and there are about 10 people or families I would hand yummy treats to so I suspect that I will be in the kitchen at least one whole day this December. Question is, what do I make? Again I don't want to do the same stuff so I am going to do a little research and compile a new list of sugar confections. Hopefully the new stuff will taste good! Perhaps I better throw in some traditional stuff that I know I can make (just in case).

Today

I have plastic boxes calling my name and a hearty dinner to be cooked and a blanket wrapped around me keeping me hostage. Liberation is in order if I want to turn this house into a modern day Winter Wonder Land.................... I am off to find my little elf!

It's a Turkey Week and YES......I am the Turkey!

It's 5:05 pm on a Monday night and I just poured myself a cup of coffee. A steaming cup of brown goodness that I suspect will keep me up into the late hours of the night. Yes, this makes me a turkey because I know better, I should not drink one ounce of caffeine after 2:00 pm. But, it is cold outside and I am not a lover of the hot chocolate powdered mix junk so I sacrificed sleep for a 5 minute pleasure. This is me being a coffee drinking turkey...........

Do turkeys walk around aimlessly in the wild in complete boredom? I too find myself with little to do. I've finally have come to the conclusion that I need to have a fast paced life style and my brain must always be on or I start thinking BAD thoughts. This is me walking around being a bored turkey............

Laid out and sprawled out with a heap of stuffed bread, looking all plump and over processed on a Thanksgiving Day table. I hate to admit, I am relating more and more to turkeys. This past weekend I was sprawled out on the couch watching a little television and I was also stuffed with a yummy croissant. STUFFED WITH BREAD! This is me..........an exact replica of a Thanksgiving Day Turkey....................