The White Pastey Tan Plan

When I was about 10 my grandma Teddy told me that I was going to have to watch my weight and everything I ate as I got older. I remember being offended at the consideration and thought some evil spirit had entered my grandmothers body and took over for a moment. This same sweet grandmother made the best homemade cookies, pies, chili, bread and would take me for the weekly drive over to Mt. Vernon Street to pick up 2 dozen fresh hand made tortillas wrapped in pink paper loosely tied with butcher twine. I can remember the pain of the searing round pile as I was told to hold it in my lap all the way back to grandma's home. The payoff was getting to spread butter on the hot disk of love and devourer it with 3 bites.

What do you mean I was going to have to watch my weight as I became an adult.

Dosen't every girl steal bags of marshmallows from the fridge when they are 9 then hide at night to eat the white sugar goo until finding her own personal level of guilt. Yes my weight sprang up, I ran for the cookie jar at grandma's house every chance I could get, and I learned that food soothed the soul at a record young age. Food guilt was born!

Grandma Teddy was right, I come from a line of women with meat on their bones and I guess if we were living in England 1569 I would be considered HOT. White and pastey skin meant you could afford NOT to work in the fields and weight on your ass meant you had enough money to eat. So it is safe to say that I am living in the wrong century and could have been HOT and rich long ago.

I need to wake up to 2010 and come to terms that weight is my battle, I am not as healthy as I should be and I need to overhaul my situation.

Problem: MOTIVATION, TIME, ENDURANCE, and most of all I AM TIRED OF THE PRESSURE.

So, I attempted to start living better yesterday and did well at work and then I got home and ate everything in site. I woke up this morning motivated to get back on track and again I did well at work and then I came home and didn't want to cook dinner so my husband went to Del Taco. Off the wagon I fell again. I don't want to spend and hour a day cooking and then doing dishes and then wondering what I can and cannot eat. It's a full time job on top of the full time job I already have AND I start school again in a few weeks.

Exercise too?

So how do all the skinny bitches do it?