Turn of Events

Life has taken me down a new path that I like to call No Free Time Lane. Both work and school are keeping me busy and my mental state is filled to the brim. This week in particular has pursued time with strange energy. Every time I turn around some odd ball event or action is toying with my surroundings. I have benefited by being on the outside of this energy ball watching in but it has been an odd path to be on, surrounded by an energy ball of restlessness. I'm actually trying to walk several steps ahead of it and I am afraid by the end of the week this ball of unrest will roll right over me and consume me. Thank the coffee angels for providing the needed caffeine to keep me a few feet in front of the rolling mass.

For those wondering, which I am sure there are few, school is kicking my butt. I can not memorize my own address so taking on a psychology course with key terms like myelin sheath and amygdala I am bound to fail. I think I need some ginkgo or I need to hang up my hat. I can barely remember what I wore yesterday.

WARNING

WARNING - Do not read if you are expecting humor because I will be embarking on the Working Mom's Wild Ride.

I could discuss this topic over and over and beat it with a used up, working mom, greasy frying pan that has not been washed but sitting in the sink for 3 days. Yes, I am ashamed to admit that I've had dishes sitting needing my attention. You ask why? Last week I laid in bliss with ample amounts of time to cook, making sure laundry smelled like spring and washing floors when needed (yes, I was Cinderella on VACA). This week I have time to drag my half closed eyes, purse, lunch bag and school bag to work and wobble on weak ankles in platform heels. Our culture has almost deemed in order to survive a middle class living you will send 2 adults from the home to work full time. Is this true or am I just stuck in the idea that both parents MUST work? I know many families that have one income coming in and I CANNOT figure out how they manage their survival (and I will be the last to officially ask). Our family does not live a lavish lifestyle, we don't go on vacations nor buy expensive cars. Our only expense in our daughters education which we elect to provide due to the failing public schools that surround us. I feel like our social structures are bound to POP because at this rate we can not sustain the requirements to achieve the good ol American dream. What is happening? Greed? Disillusionment? The sense of belittlement that has forced us to take 1/2 breathes because we no longer know how to breathe a full content breathe? I could go on and on but I must return to writing about prominent persons in the history of Psychology. I've elected to pick Dr. Seymour B. Sarason, Dr. Nathan Kline and Mary W. Calkins because Mary and I share one special date in common. Trivia for today.............what date do we share and why? If you know me this should be easy.

Flu

I had intended to start blogging about my daily diet turmoils in hopes I would stay on track but the unexpected invader of my body, the FLU, derailed my diet train of pain. I have a new best friend and I've spent to much time getting intimate with this porcelain beauty. I like to call her Bold Beautiful Bertha the Bowl. She has been a good friend the past 3 days but I'm ready to make her into an occasional pen pal and keep my friends that don't require deposits on my A list. My BFF BBB the B and I would hang out with a cocktail of water and baking soda while I placed my shivering head on her shoulder. Fortunately I seem to be on the mend.

Diet

I can thank Mr. Flu for kick starting my diet. Not eating for a few days while barely keeping a drip of water in my body made me feel 1.56 lbs lighter. Dang, I'm on a diet roll. Watch out. I'm still leery of slipping anything past these pale lips of mine in fear that my new porcelain BFF and I will have to reunite so I attempted to eat light today. Eating light would consist of mint tea, 5 bites of leftovers, 4 saltine crackers and 5 bites of chocolate gelato. At least I can say my portion sizes have dropped to an all time low but the nutritional content still blows. Guess I'll have to work on that nutritional part starting tomorrow.

Vacation: Day 9

Getting the flu on the final day of my vacation was not how I anticipated ending the week. But, the FLU found me and that my friends is the end of my vacation. Stay tuned, I will begin blogging about my attempt to loose weight and I am sure you will here rants regarding school.

To be continued

Vacation: Day 8

The realization that vacation is almost over slapped me across the face and weighted down my ankles. We did very little over this tiny one week slumber so today we decided to get into the car and find a destination. We ended up at The Huntington Library. This is a photographers dream location and I wish I had some extra time to sit and take several photos because I was enjoying myself so much. If you live in So Cal or will be visiting and you like Art and Gardens, the the Huntington Library is a must. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. And for those of you wondering, YES, I did take the picture of the water lily.

Vacation: Day 7

I experienced complete PEACE for the first time in a VERY long time today. The sad part is it only lasted about 10 minutes. On this final vacation Friday Stephanie and I went to my mom's pool (see above) and were fortunate enough to have the whole pool to ourselves.

Tadpole Among Us
One major milestone this summer: STEPHANIE LEARNED TO SWIM (kind of). We have been working for years to get her lanky arms moving in that turquoise water and this summer she finally submitted. There is work to be done but I think we will be in a good place by the end of the summer. A pair of goggles and fingers pinching her noes and she is a archaeologist of H2O.

Peace of Wind
After getting to swim at leisure with my new little archaeologist tadpole I sat on the edge of the pool with my face pointed west and the sun and wind gracing my face. Life literally slowed down for a brief moment in time and I felt at one with everything around me. I haven't felt that symbiotic with my surroundings in such a long time that in my mind I was begging for the spiritual moment not to end. But all good things must come to an end and my peaceful state was soon interrupted (the how does not matter). I am extremely thankful that I once again experienced quiet, peace and of all things - THE SUN. For those of you that know me, you do know that I am super pale. The sun felt good with the wind slightly blowing. I just may have to do that a little more often.

My hat is off to the wind and sun, they persuaded me to shimmy into a bathing suite after 5 years and find 10 minutes of peace. Perhaps I will be able to find this moment again in another 5 years. See you then Mr. Sun and Mrs. Wind!

Vacation: Day 6

Christmas already? HECK YES! I painted Santa Ornaments like these over 17 years ago and family members and friends have been asking me to make some for them for many years. Problem! It is harder to find the necessary bark needed to make these one of kind jolly old men. Even though there are pine trees a plenty if I follow the 18 up to Pine Land I am not willing to strip a living tree of its natural warm sweater just to decorate a fake tree for one month. But I lucked out this week. There are huge Eucalyptus trees outside my daughters dance studio and there was TONS of bark on the ground. It was a bark free for all. I did learn one thing using a new type of bark, Eucalyptus bark curls when it gets wet. So now I have curly little chubby Santa personalities. I will make more as time goes on but for now I just finished the little guys above. I think I will proclaim this Christmas as a Folk Art Christmas!!!

Vacation: Day 5

Nothing to share regarding Vacation Day #5. Hung out at home and then took Steph to Ballet class. Restful day!

Picture is of my herb garden gone wild. I have more basil then I know what to do with. Guess I have to cook more.

Vacation: Day 4

I LEFT THE HOUSE TODAY!!! Yes, my highlight consisted of getting to walk through Wal-Mart and grocery shop. But, I did get a little creative today. I had an idea to make magnates based on the love of my friends and so I did a trial and error and made a few (please see photo). I just wanted to stay busy and not idol. Today I want to be witty regarding the freakishly interesting characters that hang out in Wal-Mart and joke about the skittish tendencies of my daughter and I regarding the wasps making their home above our front door but I'll just stick to the flying deamons today.

Star Wars and the Demon Wasps

It is comedy to watch Stephanie and I go out the back door and all the way around the house just to get to the car so we can avoid the dive bombing wasps that are infiltrating through the crack under our front door. Wal-Mart provided me with the killing wasp spray but believe me, I'm to lazy to go through the back door, find my way around the house and become the Darth Vader of Wasps. Funny thought: Star Wars Wasps - Luke Hornetwalker, Han Stinger Solo, Chewbacca Hairy Hornet and Princess Leia of the Lair and me as the blond Darth Vader shooting a death ray purchased at a freakish Wal-Mart which closely compares to the Mos Eisley Cantina . Maybe tomorrow I can find my way through the galaxy of the wasp and find refuge 15 feet way in my car.

This vacation is making me loose my senses.

Vacation: Day 3

I'M BORED, this vacation took a wrong turn somewhere between the 10th episode of NCIS and Saturday's lasagna. Sounds like the typical American vacation, food and television. The only way I've been keeping myself busy is by finding multiple reasons to cook, bake and eat. This is not a good way to occupy time nor fulfill my longing for dinner on a tropical island over looking sandy beaches. NOW THAT WOULD BE A VACATION. Compromise and reason, I need to understand this time off was not scheduled for fun but to merely deflect daycare costs. I have cookies in the oven, big, huge, chewy molasses cookies in the oven and another episode of NCIS is starting. I'm coming Gibbs, don't start without me.

I hope I can find something to do tomorrow.

Vacation: Day 2

Please Universe give me strength to get motivated. I've been sitting in front of the computer for about 3 hours doing various tasks. I swear I have grown Plastic Man fingers and they are connected to the keyboard. I am ADDICTED!!! First, I decided that I will make grocery shopping an adventure this week. The challenge, to come up with 14 different recipes while testing my budgeting skills. I took it over the top. WAY OVER THE TOP. I spent a whole 2 hours developing a menu and shopping list. I never knew that developing my own recipe for Shepard's Pie was going to keep me as occupied as 7 year old boys in mud. Browsing the Internet for recipes should be an Olympic sport. I could medal in gold cheese rounds. Second, I've decided to start crafting earlier than normal. We do have a little less than 6 months before Christmas so I thought this year I would make sets of vintage magnets and finally make more of my wooden Santa ornaments due to the overwhelming want by others. This vacation is the best time to start. So I spent another hour cruising for some vintage photographs to provide me with inspiration. If I can find my spunk and motivation then I will have pictures closer to the end of the week but don't hold your breath.

Lasagna last night and homemade chicken pot pie tonight................I win the gold cheese wheel of victory.

Vacation: Day 1

In hopes in making this vacation relevant I've decide to discuss the craziness of the week in the Smith family. Think of it as preserving moments that we (I) take for granted during the hustle and bustle of normality.

Day Numero Uno: Saturday

I hit the pillow last night excited that I had the opportunity to view the back of my eyelids later than usual the next morning. Time passes and the earth turns and with one eye open I see the searing glare of the alarm clock with a devilish hue of red laughing 5:30 at me. Really? I got up even earlier than I usually do on a work day. I laid there in bed thinking that maybe I was just excited to start my day completely owned by me. So off I went to start my morning, breakfast, the news, coffee, cleanliness and off to Stephanie's vocal lessons. Five hours into my Saturday and I had accomplished more luxury than I have allowed myself in the past month. Perfection.

Smells Good, What's in the Oven?

Yes, I even BAKED after Steph's class. Banana bread anyone? I am also 97% sure that I making lasagna for dinner. That is if I have the energy because at the moment, 1:36 pm, my pillow is beckoning for me to take a nap. NAP, what is a nap? Well, I for sure plan on finding out at soon as I leave this addictive keyboard.

I hear Wii Resort in the other room and cheering which means people are happy and that means I can sneak off and catch a couple of winks.

Possible lasagna pictures to follow.................... VACATION, it's just so simple.

The Final Count Down

Vacation! The count down begins. I officially begin vacation on Friday night at 4:01 pm. Swimming, sleeping in LATE, staying up LATE, and doing whatever my little one and I want to do. So I will watch the clock tick by hopefully quickly as I clean up my desk as much as I can and sprint home to spend an evening with a good friend, a chicken and 2 pairs of walking shoes.

Anyone have any ideas on what we can do during the next week?

A Roller Coaster Illusion

Perpetual bliss is left for those that are not living in some sense of turmoil, heartache or climb. Perhaps you find pure happiness within the journey. Yes the journey, rich and full of what we like to describe as the roller coaster of life. Up and down, up and down as we watch the person in front of , to the side and behind us reach their hands into the sky while screaming in thrill or perhaps placing their hands over their mouths trying to deflect the force fed day old corn dog. YUMMY! So who are you? Do you raise your hands, do you deflect the nausea or are you one that holds on and just waits for it to be over? Do you go through the motions knowing one day you will pull into the candy train station of life covered in half digested corn dog or deaf from the thrill screams of others thrill rides? We can question the peaks and valleys but let us not today. Let us focus on the OVERALL experience.

Tribulations and joy are always a part of life and we learn from mistakes and relationships and hopefully grow with each passing lesson. I on the other hand question if I ever learn, apparently repeating lessons do not cement within my brain (bad habits die hard). One of my biggest flaws is that I am extremely aloof and my one constant is that I am never completely together. Rest assure I can say that I at least have a constant, right? I find the small flaws in life the most interesting. Imperfections make us human. Mismatched socks, Muppet hair (this is what my daughter likes to call fly away hair) snorting when you laugh, little self obsessions, family, likes and dislikes all make us what we are. But I question when we became so obsessed with perfection or the image of the roller coaster smile as you hurl so no one will see illusions of our lives, we've lost our own true identities to become a conglomerate of mirrors. I guess we can argue as humans, we like illusion and like to create illusion so we don't have to deal with the smack dead issues of our days, or do we crave illusion to create a false sense of purpose and self worth? I was told by someone I highly respect that purpose = happiness. Does this mean illusion creates purpose which creates false happiness? Perhaps the key is in finding our own purpose absent of image. IMAGINE THAT! Imagine a roller coaster you can choose to disembark at the safety ladder by choice, climb down perfectly content and follow your own accord, look left and then look right and choose to follow the path of self purpose. You'll end up finding your happiness! I'll bet you this bowl full of pasta that you won't be disappointed. Illusion on my friends.